floor. *A dog's disposition stays the same all month long. *Dogs never need to examine your relationship. *A dog's parents never visit. *Dogs love long car trips. *Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions. *Dogs know that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted. *If a dog gets old and starts to snap at you constantly, you can shoot it. *Dogs like beer. *Dogs don't hate their bodies. *Dogs never buy Kenny G or Michael Bolton albums. *Dogs never put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood. *Dogs never criticize. *Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across. *Dogs never expect gifts. *It is legal to keep a dog chained up at your house. *Dogs don't worry about germs. *Dogs don't want to know about every othe
r dog you ever had. *Dogs like to do their snooping outside, not in your wallet, your pockets, or your sock drawer. *Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives. *A dog would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one. *You never have to wait for a dog. They're ready to go 24 hours a day. *Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry. *Dogs don't borrow your shirts. *Dogs never want foot-rubs. *Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public. *Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk. *Dogs can't talk. *Dogs aren't catty. *Dogs seldom outlive you.